Saturday, February 7, 2009
Outgrowing the World
"Sorry for the delay" is what I really wanted to say, but I know that the quality of my life has improved greatly since my last post. I've been spending more time with my daughter. Bath night, which used to be a task before bed a couple nights a week is now a nightly activity I look forward to every day. I long for my eyes to become heavy so I can scoop Grace out of her crib and toss her into my bed, even though I am fully cognizant that she's a bed hog. I see her taking on new challenges every day, not really owning much that is solely hers. It's inspired me to gut my home of things that don't carry their own weight and in the process I've killed more than a few demons. It's a funny game life plays on us.
We start very small with very little that is truly 'ours'. Our name, our pride, our integrity, among a few other things. As we begin to grow and understand the world around us, we'll collect trinkets. Some of them will be useful until the day we pass. Other items, seemingly valuable, will hang around until we no longer have need for them. In the natural order of things, we'll grow into our world. We'll eventually outgrow some of it as well; ideas, homes, vehicles, clothing, even friendships and relationships. As we become the people we are to be, a lot of changes will take place. As humans, we have the capacity to make things as simple or as complicated as we like them to be. If you are hungry, eat. If you're tired, lie down. If you get nausea drinking young sheng on an empty stomach, don't do it. There's always going to be an input/output when it comes to people living their lives and making decisions. There will always be wasted potential. I just want to see if I can minimize that as much as possible, not to make a statement, but because it's what I want of my life.